Personal, Marriage, Family, and Financial Goals*

In reading for class found these goals for our Personal Lives, Marital Lives (eventually), Family goals (eventually), and Financial goals - very helpful!! I hope you'll read and find these both challenging and encouraging and you'll be able to adapt them to wherever life finds you at present. Looking at where we should be has a way of impacting where we are currently. 

After reviewing this challenging list, it's reminded me of the importance of goals within our lives, and the often review of them. -- Let me know if you disagree with any, or if some more should be added... (For a PRINTABLE version click HERE.)

  

"Information without application leads to frustration..." 

PERSONAL GOALS: 

      To be answered as if your husband or wife were asking: 

1.     What are your personal goals in life?

2.     What personal goals have you set for this coming year?

3.     How can I help you achieve your goals?

4.     What can I do to help or improve our financial situation?

5.     Do you feel there is a proper balance between my outside activity and my time at home?

6.     Would you like me to do more things around the house such as cleaning and decorating?

7.     In regard to my activities outside the home, what would you consider as priorities?

8.     Do you feel I need to improve in any area, such as my appearance, manners, attitudes?

MARRIAGE GOALS:

1.     Do you believe our marriage is maturing and we are coming closer together?

2.     Do you feel we clearly communicate?

3.     Do you feel that I am sensitive to your personal needs?

4.     What would you like me to say or do the next time you seem to be angry with me or you are not speaking got me?

5.     The next time you are late in getting ready to go someplace, what would you like me to say or do?

6.     What would you like me to say or do the next time you seem to be getting impatient with something or someone?

7.     What would you like me to say or do if you begin to criticize someone?

8.     Do you feel I need to improve in getting ready on time or getting to meetings on time?

9.     Do you feel we should go out together more often?

10. Do I make cutting remarks about you or criticize you in front of other people?

11. What should I do in public to encourage you?

12. Do I respond to your suggestions and ideas as if I had already thought of them instead of thanking you and encouraging you to contribute more?

13. Do I tell you enough about what I do every day?

14.  What little acts of love do I do for you? Which acts of love do you like the most?

15. What most often causes you to get angry with me?

16. Do I convey my admiration and respect often enough?

17. Do we “play act” a happy marriage in front of other people?

18. What do you think 1 Corinthians 7:3-7 means?

19. Do you feel we need to see a marriage counselor?

20. What are the responsibilities of a help mate/loving leader in the home?

21. Do we give each other the same attention we did before we had children?

FAMILY GOALS:

1.     What are our family goals?

2.     Are we achieving our family goals?

3.     A. (Wife) What can I do to help you fulfill your responsibilities as spiritual leader of our family?

B. (Husband) How can I better fulfill my responsibilities as spiritual leader?

4.     Do you feel we are meeting the spiritual needs of our family?

5.     What kinds of family devotions should we have?

6.     List the responsibilities stated for the husband and wife in the following passages:

1 Peter 3:1-2; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Timothy 2:11-15; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:17-33

7.     Do you feel we have a consistent prayer life together?

8.     Do you feel we are adequately involved in our local church?

9.     Do you feel we are meeting the physical needs of our family?

10. Should we improve our eating habits?

11. Should we get more exercise?

12. Do we make good use of our time? For example, do we watch too many movies? Should we have more hobbies? Free time? Work? Read more?

13. How and when will we discipline our children? What do you think is the biblical viewpoint of discipline?

14. On a sheet of paper, list the responsibilities of parents and their children in the following passages:

Colossians 3:20-21; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 3:11-12; Ephesians 6:4.

15. What kind of instruction and training should we be giving our children in the home?

FINANCIAL GOALS:

1.     Do you think I handle money properly?

2.     How could I better manage our money?

3.     Do you think I am:
Too frugal?

Too extravagant?

About right?

Why?

4.     Do you think I accept financial responsibilities well?

5.     Do you think we communicate financial goals well?

6.     What is your immediate financial goal?

7.     What is your primary goal for this year?

8.      What is your plan for our children’s education?

9.     What is your retirement goal?

10. What do you think about tithing?

Necessary?

How Much?

Where should it go?

11. How do you feel about giving in general?

12. Do you like the way we live?

13. What changes would you like to see?

14. Oh, and one more thing… What are a few things I’ve been doing right lately?

*This has been adapted from Larry Burkett’s book, “Your Finances In Changing Times”. (p.131-136)

Preaching Trip out to Arizona

This past summer I was privileged yet again to go out west on a preaching trip to the Indian Reservation north of Phoenix. I had a great time!! It is soo beautiful out there...

After many months of wanting to get a short video put together - it finally got done. It captures a few of the highlights of my trip... It begins with a snapshot of a college buddy (who happened to be in the area at the same time visiting his family) and I around 5:30 am after we'd gotten lost trying to find the the location of the camp and had just woken up to start driving again. (The West is a big place folks..) Needless to say we made fun memories we won't ever forget. The rest of the video summarizes some of the many sermons preached, games played, and enjoyment had by all.

If you interested in hosting a preaching, teaching, and fun event somewhere in your area - just get in contact with me.

(P.S. - special thanks goes out to the businessman who made this trip a reality!! God helped, and hearts were changed. It wouldn't have been possible without your contribution.)

Bonhoeffer's Thoughts About Loving Millennials

Photo by: Catherene MacBride

Today, I decided to pick up this months' Christianity Today magazine from off the library shelf. This months article captivated my attention. I may be working with youth in the future, or may start my own ministry somewhere, so it would be good to keep my ear to the ground and be informed rather than ignorant and dumb. Either way, I do know I'm to help youth find Christ for themselves - whether that's my life calling or now (who knows!). 

In the article by Andrew Root, I took note that once again that we have the wrong focus as thinkers, theologians, and as Christians when viewing the young "milennial" generation of today. It's title, Stop worrying about the Millennials, jumped out at me seeking to remind me the reader that I, "need to learn to love them", instead of worrying about how I'm going to keep them. In the article, one of the greatest thinkers of the 19th century,  Deitrich Bonhoeffer, explained why. 

Bonhoeffer says, 

When he wrote that he was trying to shake up the "accommodating youth movement" and instead remind the church that they were to, "disciple youth so that they constitute the church as they grow older." He believed too many Germans thought the future of the church depended upon very spirited young people. 

One of the reasons I could go into youth ministry was because, "they are the hope of the church". 

I have now realized that is a false statement. The youth, the children, the older people, are not the hope of the church. Bonhoeffer called our fixation with youthfulness - idolatry. 

Our future depends on Jesus Christ (Period!).

If you and I have an encountering with the Holy Spirit in our lives - homes - churches, specifically through the word of God and the means of grace, young people will want what the body of Christ has to offer! If they see Jesus in our lives - young people will want that. 

He continued by arguing, "Youth ministry is first and foremost a theological task.... first and foremost an encounter of the divine with the human."

Today sadly, theology is often put on the back burner. Instead praise, and "the band" is front and center. Praise/Testimony time is in and the word of God and his Holy Spirit is out.

What young people, or "millennials" as they/we are called, really need is an encounter with God's love, his gracious people, His word and His Spirit. 

"Much of North American Youth Ministry was shaped by the desire to capture and use the spirit of youth". In many ways the christian church can capture the attention and energy till about 17. Then we lose them. Reason? We've stopped loving. We wanted them to join us and keep our church going instead of wanting them to love God to build Gods' kingdom. Initially it's just a few head butts with the young 20 something, but the more it continues and the "less love in action is shown" and the less the "word is gracefully and kindly shared" the more they are driven out. We are to always be lovingly redemptive.

"In loving the youthful spirit of millennial, we actually love not the young person in all his or her peculiarities; instead, we love what having the young person's youthful spirit in our churches can get us. We love the idea of having millennial's in our church, but may not be ready to love the particular young people that come to us in their concrete humanity." We want the person and what they can add, but who wants all the other things.

I'm reminded of John 14:34-35, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." Sadly, today in the church many millennials are driven out because they weren't loved, chased after, and cared for even when they hurt the body of Christ. Loving when I wouldn't love in return was what Christ did for me and you - why not do it for someone else? It's just like human nature to not call, not care, and not visit. Individualism is the American way, but it's the wrong way. 

Today, many 17-28 yr olds are broken, and who need to be selflessly loved.

In summary: 

"Thus the best way to help the church engage millennials is to stop wringing our hands over the millennial problem. Instead, we might seek the Holy Spirit together with all generation, looking for concrete experiences of the presence and absence of God in the lives of the young, confessing our confusion and telling our own stories of God's work in our lives. That's when the Holy Spirit binds and unites us, calling us beyond our generational divided. For in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, millennial nor boomer. 

Maybe your asking the "How" question...

Here's one way the article gave to start living this out.

Stop pleading with young people to read their bibles, and start encouraging young people to read their bibles with older mature Christians who've experienced Christ and know his power. When young people have tried this they became no longer a bunch of "bored millennials", but instead represent concrete persons who also know and love the person Jesus and his word. Other Christian pastors and lay-leaders are doing this - why not us? Give it a try.

To read the original article: Click on this Hyperlink 

The Purpose Driven Church - Book Review - Part 1

 

Well, it’s true. You've heard them and so have I, those “Myths about growing churches”. Have you heard the myth, “the only thing that large churches care about is attendance”, or how about “You must compromise the message and the Mission of the Church in Order to Grow”?  Lately I've been reading a book for class by Rick Warren called "The Purpose Driven Church". Although I don't agree with everything he presents, he has got me thinking some about how a church should grow. What I find incredible is that it all started small, even his church, and grew..steadily, and sometimes painfully to what it is today. If his grew - so can ours! (Yet I think too often in the CHM we're often miss-informed, scared, purposeless, or not in tune with the Holy Spirit.)

In response to the question "only caring about attendance", Rick commented: “If you are preaching the positive, life-changing Good News of Christ, if your members are excited by what God is doing in your church, if you are providing a service where they can bring unsaved friends without embarrassment, and if you have a plan to build, train, and send out those you win to Christ,l attendance will be the least of your problems.” “Healthy, lasting church growth is multidimensional. Every church needs to grow warmer through fellowship, deeper through discipleship, stronger through worship, broader through ministry, and larger through evangelism.” (Acts 2:42-47)

“Church Growth is a natural result of Church Health.” A healthy church grows.

In response to the second myth about "compromising the message", he wrote the following:

“This myth implies that leaders of growing churches are somehow “selling out” the Gospel in order to grow, and that it must be shallow and lacking in commitment.” They assume it’s a “watered-down” message. Many churches are like that, however this guilt by association is unfortunate."

"Jesus ministry attracted enormous crowds. Why? Because the gospel is GOOD NEWS!! (John 12:32) A Christlike Church WILL have the same drawing effect on people. Another reason for the confusion of shallowness is they confuse what is, “expected of the unbelieving attenders with what is expected of the actual church members.” Saddleback distinguishes between “the Crowd” and “the Congregation”. “At Saddleback Church we do not expect unbelievers to act like believers until they ARE. We expect very little from the seeker who is investigating the claims of Christ. We simply invite unbelievers to come and check us out as Jesus did. Yet, “we require a major commitment from those who want to join our church. All prospective members must complete a membership class and are required to sign a membership covenant. By signing the covenant, members agree to give financially, serve in ministry, maintain a godly lifestyle, etc” … We remove hundreds of names from our roll every year.”

...…. Like what you’re reading? Want to hear about all EIGHT myths about megachurches? Check out the book, “The Purpose Driven Church”.

Overall, it's a great book that I'd recommend to even laypeople - not just pastors/future pastors.

Click the video below to learn more about the incredible history of Saddleback Church. 

It's really quite amazing!